letting go

Earlier this week, I finished treatments for two scripts that I will probably never write. It took me a long time, but letting go of those stories was better than puttering around, half thinking about them and not continuing active work on those stories. I'm not sure why the active work never took place - laziness? Less than complete belief in the project? I certainly brainstormed a ton once I had the kernel of the idea.

But I didn't finish those ideas and turn them scripts. I know now that I was subconsciously frustrated that I wasn't done. I have other ideas that I was passionate about, but I wasn't really moving forward on those either. And I came to a realization that I needed to let go of those earlier ideas completely. To let the new stuff in.

Knowing that I completed my initial thoughts on the ideas gave me closure. And I gave myself permission to move on to other ideas. And I'm giving myself permission to come up with ideas and not judge myself harshly if those ideas don't work right away. I expect a lot of myself. In the brainstorming and idea generation process I have the tendency to want to arrive at the right answer IMMEDIATELY. I want an answer, not a process. But that's a hinder to creativity. So I'm giving myself permission to enjoy the process more than the result.

Like Stanislavsky said, I need to love the art in myself, not myself in the art.